Sadly, those are not really original thoughts, either.

Wait... what’s wrong with tacos?

Does no one realize that an Oprah presidency would bring us Dr. Phil as surgeon general and Dr. Oz as secretary of HHS? We’d trade one cabinet of grifters for another.

I have so many questions about his judgement. And haircut.

This is literally the only decent news I’ve read this morning.

Three word rebuttal: cobra kit car.

How do you pre-warm it?

The line was actually from Bobby.

Not to mention the big Caesers Palace in Vegas might be uncomfortable with that choice...

If only there was a quarterback out there that they could sign, that might be able to provide a reasonable replacement value. Maybe someone with some mobility to spread out the offense to compliment their running game.

disquisionate?

These new embedded MLB videos never work on mobile devices. All they do is send you to the advertisers website and then go black once you come back to deadspin.

Leave it to the Cheeto Mussolini to make me take sides with the ginger hammer in this argument.

Good. Hopefully next on the list will be Dow and their Chlorpyrifos. Which, not being entirely sure, I can only assume rhymes with syphilis.

Can we get Ashley back for a one-time investigation into this guys hairpiece?

I stopped seeing someone LAST JULY because they planned to vote for the cheeto covered turd.

More info on the teacher... since you were making assumptions

Enemies from the south... Did we forget about Dorne and the sand snakes?