Yeah, after hearing a few things like that, I just try to pretend the only version of Rob Loew that exists is Chris Traeger.
You're missing the three hours it takes him to poop half a meter of structural grade bamboo.
When my son was four, he wanted to be a puppy. He followed our dog everywhere, barked, licked our hands and drank from the dog bowl.* We called him, ‘Barkley.’ Best dog we ever had...
I just noticed adds for free EpiPens from Mylan. I know I printed out my $0 co-pay savings card.. Good for 6 (twin packs) of these suckers..
I’m 28 and I still text with my mom during award shows and red carpets. It’s amazing.
Aww...
Duckling and I have a tradition during award shows: the Red Carpet.
Streganona Jones
Fucking brilliant. I have a coffee mug on my desk, that only two very intelligent and hilarious women have ever noticed (my desk is pretty highly decorated) that says “Does Not Play Well With Stupid People”. I also have it as a t-shirt, so I wore it to the company field days event while I was playing cornhole. The…
Wait til you hit your 40s! It’s glorious, it looks like this:
I have a running list of people I want to get high and color with and she's near the top.
Misinterpreted “cold syrup” on first go to mean “syrup for treating colds” and 1) agreed, fully then 2) went down the rabbit hole.
I mean...I think it would be amazing to hang out with Grace Jones and Iman, but I also recognize that I’m not cool enough to handle it.
I’m a Scully in the streets and Mulder in the sheets.
god fucking bless you, Madeleine.
I try to blame the 20 years she spent smoking shitty weed out of tin foil pipes. When I found out, I bought her a proper glass piece because goddamnit Mom, (at the time) you’re 39.
I hate misspellings. I don’t mean Anne v Ann or whatever, but when people randomly shove letters into names but insist the pronunciation is the same, or insist the only ‘vowel’ needs to be a Y. And even then I’m not judging the person with the name, but in my head, I am severely judging their parents - especially the…
What-fish-do-in-water lady and swimming hand motion Jersey girl should totally hang out. That would be a comedy duo for the ages.
“DON’T YOU KNOW WHAT FISH DO IN WATER?!”
Just had to stop reading to say I laughed so unexpectedly hard and so suddenly at this that I choked on the chip I was eating and had to spit it out on my desk. I ain’t even made at this lady, this is too hilarious.
Sheepsplain? Ugh fuck ewe