“...but I definitely feel like I have nothing in common with them, like people who stay in Hard Rock Cafe hotels or all inclusive resorts or who drink shots...” 

T18 & toner is the same routine I used for my kiddo in her platinum years. Clairol seventh stage first on roots. It was *flawless.*

This sounds delightful!

Dying to know more about the business casual circus & whether I’m too old for a ticket!

Where does Tone Loc fit in here?

It is a gape. A gape of assholes.

I feel like it was at least 50% when she started.

Want. Must get. I wish the artist sold stickers. There are more than a few Don’t Tread On Me trucks around here. One wonders how long it might take their owners to notice...

(Please.)

I think it says COMMON SENSE IS NOT THAT COMMON.

Kimmel may suck for myriad Kimmelly reasons, but Fallon is the one who (shudder) tousled the Ooompa-Loompa’s hair. Fuck Fallon forever.

And there it is, a reason to remember Easter.

...there are Snickers eggs? Where have I been?

She was so good. Guess Handmaid’s Tale is why they haven’t gotten to the second series yet!

All casting should henceforth be done a la Drunk History. Make it so.

Pence is a very effective insurance policy.

Same! Viking Jr. is a senior in college, and we still do this. It’s the best. <3

Maybe he just wanted her to get a Unibroue. That’s really a nice wish for anyone. (Anyone who likes beer.)

“Yes they do, Otto. They just don’t understand it.”

YES. I have a printout of this hanging over my phone. At work. Everyone assumes its some Fancy Olde Thing & no one has ever read it. It’s almost too easy.