I. Am. Livid.

It’s a sad state of affairs when this country was incensed because they saw a tit on TV, yet saw fit to put a dick in the White House.

Unless you are Titus.

I aspire to be like her the way Goopites aspire to be like Gwen.

I met her at a book signing in like 2007 and when I told her my name she said, “You’re shittin’ me,” and asked to see my driver’s license. (It was admittedly weird of me to ask her to make it out to my full name.)

I’m on a celibacy kick, too. It’s called “Take Zoloft for GAD and Lose Your Sex Drive.”

but much worse he talks bad about me to our four year old daughter.

Hold up. That woman is not my FLOTUS.

I personally think they should be melted down into urinals, but I’m willing to entertain other options.

Google.com:

DRACARYS.

FROM THE CREATOR OF

I love this woman and her curvy body.

A male feminist walks into a bar

I love you anyway.

Just want to say you really want to avoid the slow clap. It’s known to be antibiotic resistant.

I just use the Cooter line from Walmart. I think their liner in RimJob is almost an exact dupe for Mars Van Vooter’s Liquid Canvass.

I constantly have to shut down requests to open an artisinal bakery down there.

Does that guy in the middle of the picture have four popped collars?