One of my FAVORITE books on the subject I found browsing at a doctor’s office. It had a section on cholic. It listed all the usual things to try, but at the very end it had a a big summary that basically said: “These are all good techniques to help crying babies in general. However, some chronically colic babies show…

RIGHT? I’ve got several on the go now...
Steely Danzig, my funk/punk classic rock band
Digital Jesus and the Immaculate Connections, my electronic Joy Division cover band, and now .......Wasteland Uterus.

Only works in neonates is the trick. The reflexes this relies on tend to extinguish by 3 months, 6 at the latest.

You deserve a Happy New Year! And, after that beautiful and gracious reply, I realize what a vindictive poop-head I’m being.

stop it guyz, she’s already ded

I mistook him for a rode hard/put away wet Johnny Galecki.

Trump, ironically, has no strong suits.

Hey. So grateful for the update:) Soo sorry for the continuing torture.

Athleisure? Is this like the one-word version of the meme joke “Your pants say yoga but your ass says McDonald’s”?

Baby, you ‘had me’ at “I have a new office mate.”

I like Will Smith, but I will never vote a Scientologist into any position of power.

This bit of advice (“don’t give it to kids unless you can clean yoghurt out of it”) is honestly the briefest and clearest encapsulation of a proper gift-giving philosophy.

My cat does this. Except he never spills the drink. #catsnotkids :o

I keep thinking of everyone who doesn't have an iPhone thinking that Usher is working hard on being able to fellate himself and I can't stop laughing.

I have the same coworker, except instead of eating, he sings to his music. It sounds like a dying cat screeching out his favorite Beatles song. I’ve asked him to stop several times, but I think he turns his own music up so loud he can’t hear how fucking annoying he is.

I would give you sooo many stars for this.

OmG, the woman next to me at work eats so damn loudly it makes me want to scream at her to stop. And there’s a guy who is so damn loud and talks constantly about stupid, inane shit. But then of course if you try to talk to him about anything he doesn’t listen, because he only wants to do the talking. Ugh loud people…

See this is why I wish I could wear headphones. LUCKILY I now only work with my fav co workers in my department area but HOLY SHIT some of the temps we've been trying out have been nightmares

I have a tiny office that’s all my own, and I guard it with my life. I never minded sharing and I did that for YEARS but having my own place with a door is fantastic.

Maybe one of these, for annoying coworkers who aren’t deterred by headphones, and who will continue talking to you anyway: