I feel like Kirstie Alley is trying really hard to let us know that she totally hasn’t heard a single negative thing about her religion this week.

I’m always fascinated by people that regularly get into social media spats. Like where do you find the time and energy... After 2 replies I’m like nah, and ignoring/blocking your ass.

The moral of the story is, don’t run.

Mayonnaise is the easiest for me. So far, it’s come out perfect every time. I use a blender to mix it and just slowly pour in oil until it gets thick and “stuck.” A quick shake to make it fully mix, but no more added.

That’s the part that got me and I couldn’t write any more about it. Like how could someone defend this dude when he didn’t just rape a child but then brought his adult son into it?

“Paden’s adult son, Anthony, has also been charged with sodomizing the victim. His case is currently pending.”

Here’s the recipe in my textbook that we used:
1 oz cider vinegar
1/8 tsp black peppercorns
1 oz water
3 egg yolks

I always use this metaphor when having this conversation with guys like this dude:

It’s kind of weird that Gawker Media is directing so much snark at this teenager who at least seems to have realized that the world she was caught up in was not healthy and wishes to convey that message to others.

“Yeah, you go hide, Tom. We’ll come find you.”

emotionally and vertically stunted.

You know how Mugatu and his shadowy kabal of fashion designers recruit Derek to be their agent of evil in Zoolander because Derek’s natural stupidity and immaturity (which is only made worse by the fact that his chosen industry caters to his ego) renders him the perfect puppet? That’s what I feel Tom Cruise is like…

Gavin is prettier but Blake is richer. Seriously about the looks though, Gavin is 50 and Blake is only 39. And, yet, Gavin looks like he could pass for Blake’s kid brother.

dean mcDermott, dermot mulroney, and dylan mcDermott all need to change their fucking names so america stops being scared and confused

Alas, poor Shakespeare. I knew him, Jezebel: a fellow of infinite jest, of most excellent fancy.

I almost wish someone had criticized my food choices during any of my three pregnancies. They would have learned more about hyperemesis gravidarum than they ever wanted to know.

Holy shit, has this motherf*cker even been arrested yet? WHAT. THE. FUCK. I feel like I’m watching a documentary about a totalitarian state that existed 75 years ago. What the hell is going on?!!!!!

“All vegans are awful SO LET’S SHIT ON THEM” is frequently a trope meat-eaters* like to bust out for a variety of reasons, virtually all of which are ultimately both self-serving and self-aggrandizing.

I’m way more spiritually evolved than Russell Brand because I totally gave up fame and fortune before I ever attained them.

Bookmarking! Thx!