Dolphins would be extinct if that’s actually how well they see. Or maybe it’s just that their prey are so charmed by the dolphins that they swim right into their cheery, smiley maws.

How structured an evening is it? Are you able to go for an hour and then quietly vanish? Can you come down with a mysterious tummy bug or something equally short-lived but likely to discourage questions an hour before the party?! :D

I’m disgusted by the level of jealousy I’m experiencing right now.

I’m really not at all worried about my job, security or future. I’m only still here because the job is flexible around my self-employment, the regular money is handy, and I like my colleagues (when they’re not eating).

Aaaand we’re back to chitty chatty today, and The Boss is away today, so it’s even worse than normal! Le sigh.

A monthly subscription service for active wear??!! How many pairs of yoga pants does one person need?

Er, I think you inherited my previous officemate!! My condolences :(

She’s actually an upgrade on previous officemate who was a much more noisy eater and stared at my breasts whenever he thought I wouldn’t notice.

That is some headline poetry right there.

Having seen Going Clear recently, the idea of someone who subscribes to the claptrap that is Scientology going into government is super scary. Maybe not quite Trump levels of scary, but pretty close.

33. Would have.

Oh god the singing. Torture. Shared workspace, dude!

For sure buying for myself, and budget but effective is my motto for work headphones. Thanks for the recommendation!

He sounds delightful! You should have broken into his phone drawer and filled it with mashed overripe banana :D

I don’t think over-the-ears is going to be enough: She’s taken to shouting my name ever louder because my music “must be up quite loud” since I didn’t hear whatever it was she said before that. Send zen vibes my way. Or lots of booze.

There should be an unspoken rule that there is to be no chit chat before it’s at least coffee’o’clock. And loud snacks need to be banned, or consumed only during designated snack breaks, not willy nilly throughout the day.

I have a new office mate. She is VERY chatty and also takes about an hour to slowly - but very very loudly - eat her way through an apple. Headphones are the only reason I haven’t run over to her desk, whipped that apple out of her fist, and then hurled it through the nearest window while shrieking SHUTUPSHUTUPSHUTUP…

I hear StageCoach are enrolling but there teachers have been known to wear mixed fabrics which I’m sure you are aware is forbidden in the bible (Leviticus 19:19).

My lunch today was a lettuce salad. As in lettuce, mayo (homemade, thankyouverymuch) and some edible flower petals (because they were literally on my doorstep. In a flower pot.) and I don’t know why but it tasted of delicious, delicious bacon.

Initial reaction: Dry heave