Not funny, or even very surprising. It’s Texas.

No! That would never happen in Texas! They took him to Whataburger.

No, no! The guy on the right is a radical leftist who shot a bunch of people at a Walmart for...reasons (we’re still working on it). It must be true, Fox News claims that “many people” say so.

Reminds me of that time, just after he was elected, Trump asked Obama what kind of people he should hire for his cabinet. Obama replied “salt of the earth types”. So Trump took it to heart and went out to find all the salted earth types he could.

Somebody probably called him the Michelin Man after seeing him in his tennis-whites.

That’s how you know they’re lying. They’re not actually worried about “violence from the left.” And they’re not worried about violence from the right either because they won’t be the victims.

They don’t care about stopping them from obtaining guns, they only care about winning elections. And this is all about muddying the waters to win elections. If Republicans get blamed for all this violence, the voters will probably vote them out of office. But if Both Sides Are Bad, fence sitters might apathetically…

When I hear anyone talk about “Antifa” I know I am dealing with a) an idiot, b) a disingenuous liar, or c) both.

Ugh.

we owe a lot of trees a lot of apologies then

Try harder. Your first part was good but the second part is too obvious. I mean, we already know you're a troll, so really lean into it. I don't want to read a boring troll comment.

I had a family member who married a Jehovah’s Witness. We got to talking about their beliefs, and he said “we don’t wear crosses because that’s a replica of the thing that was used to kill Jesus. It’d be like if you were a Catholic and wore a rifle charm necklace to celebrate Pope John Paul II.”

Nashville is the spiritual home of every suburban girl who claims to be “country at heart” because she owns cowboy boots and her parents are racist.

“Why is it some type of virtue to believe in a book that’s from the tenth fucking century?”

Maybe we can convince Israel to refuse all money from the US congress because Omar and Talib are members.

..only person Trump has ever hired who was qualified for their job was Stormy Daniels

Yeah and I’m IT support for my mother’s crocheting business.

Barron is pretty good at the Fortnite. He should be Secretary of Computer Stuff!

If this country was ran like a business run by bottles of pop, it would be in much better shape

Don Jr’s expert advice: “This one, it makes a loud ‘bang’ noise. I like this one. That one, that’s easy to put bullets in. I like that one, too. But I like the bang-gun better”