Flying squid is a person who has some intelligent and enlightening ideas and comments. However, the second someone challenges him on an idea or disagrees, he personally attacks like a rabid dog. Then, if he realizes he’s losing the argument, he jumps into an obscene self loathing, woe is me, feel bad for me spiral,…

He uses his illness to bludgeon anyone who might have an opinion different than his own. When that doesn’t work he makes suicide threats.

Didn’t you get enough attention earlier, you know...here in the “mean girl clique”?

“How much lube do two seventy-year-olds need?”

I was staying with my friend A for a couple of days, and because her son D was visiting his dad for the summer, I was staying in D’s room. He had a computer that A said I could use (this was before I had a smartphone; I am not an early adopter), so I went on it to check my email. I am a nosy person, so I also checked…

PISSING CONTEST IS BACK! GOD BLESS YOU, JOANNA!

My dad is recently widowed and living alone. My Mom was sick for a long time and he doesn’t seem interested in dating. BUT...I have had multiple incidents in the last 3 years of running into things I don’t want to see 1. Cleaning out his car found Mapquest(!) directions to strip clubs 2. Helping him sort out his…

About 9 years ago, I broke up with a boyfriend I had for 4 years after a pretty volatile, brutally stressful relationship. We had many, many issues, and one of these issues was that I felt like he was addicted to porn. In the last year of our relationship, I logged on his computer to print out a school paper and saw…

A little while back I was house sitting for my parents as they went on a vacation. The house was a little messy so I decided to be a good kid and clean up a bit. I FOUND SO MUCH LUBE. There was lube in the: guest bedroom(which was my room years ago), the basement, the downstairs bathroom, the kitchen, the patio. Why…

After seeing so many people say they don’t wash their legs. But, really, y’all motherfuckers need Jesus. And soap. Lots of soap.

“No, I don’t wash the towel. The towel washes me! Who washes a towel?”

I mean, I don’t sit there and scour them like I’m trying to get caked-on grease off my good frying pans (unless, of course, I was doing something like wandering through a muddy area), but I do use a washcloth and soap on them.

I think if yelling at your kids becomes a pattern, yes, it is a problem.

I have said here that if you don’t yell at kids they won’t make it to 5 alive. I don’t mean long screaming rants, but the “No, don’t touch that!” type yells, you know. The ones that keep them from doing really dumb shit that will get them killed. Of course, people here called me a horrible abuser and said they’d never…

Long day, jello brain, be kind.

Dusty Rose sounds like a lipstick shade.

“The video doesn’t corroborate our story, but trust us, it’s our story that’s right and not the video. Because video, much like science and the female orgasm, is a just a bunch of lies.”

Longtime Jez fan, first time poster. I created this account just now because Jackie was a casual friend of mine and I’m the one who sent the story into Jezebel. Just wanted to say thank you so much for using my tip and posting her story. Jackie was a funny, charming, kind young woman and we are trying to get her story…

SAME. I ate all the edibles and I’ve been trying to coax a hand towel into a non-racist turban for the past 10 minutes. NOT WORKING.

Uncle Jesse: would, now and then