You did the right thing. Overreacting would have been calling 911 and reporting a robbery

OTOH, @JohnDingell’s timeline is comedy f’n gold:

Russel Wilson in that picture is definitely saying “m’lady.”

Were there cheddar bay biscuits in there? Because I would definitely start a fight over cheddar bay biscuits.

When the future Mrs. Rushruff and I were dating back in 2008, we went out to Ojai on a Saturday. We stopped into that ice cream parlor that’s in the shopping arcade and, lo and behold, Reese Witherspoon walked in there with her kids. I didn’t want to run the risk of saying anything obnoxious so I excused myself to use…

Heat on low in a pan with ~ 1/4 cup of milk. The higher the fat content in the milk the better it works but even skim will give you a better result than just microwaving.

I would have been. Furious. Like go ahead-make yourself a sandwich, a frozen pizza, have an apple. But eating someone's leftovers is a DICK MOVE. They were expensive. Going out is a treat!

I was called “oven” by my friends after my kids were born, because that was the extent of my contribution. I feel ya.

If this exchange ever happens to you:

When we first moved in together my boyfriend ate my leftover thai food while I was at work once.

Someone would have died if that happened to me. Do not touch my food.

The thing is, he wanted chicken, she bought him chicken, she asked if he wanted pizza, he said no, he nibbled hers, pretended he didn’t want any, and then ate the original fucking thing anyway when she bought herself a whole other slice. This fucking guy is too much work, he’s a goddamned liar, and he can fuck off…

DID YOU ASK HER IF KIDNEY TRANSPLANTS FALL OUT AFTER THREE WEEKS?

Someone I know who gets lash extensions got sooo offended when I called them false lashes. She informed me that it was exactly the same as getting a kidney transplant, they were a part of her.

It’ll just be a ten minute blooper reel.

At least you aren’t paying off a mortgage on your sexuality. You foreclose on that and shit gets ROUGH.

Damn. I’m only renting my sexuality.

I posted this earlier, but i’m in the grey’s and no one starred it.

If I see another “cops lives matter” or “all lives matter” comment anywhere today, I’m going to flip my shit.