Putting this out there in advance of the guys thinking this is an unfair “man tax”.

Sorry but that part made me a bit sad for Billie. I don’t think the point was “geez, how great was that” but more of a reflection on how a child needs the stability of knowing a parent will come home at the same time every day and help with homework, not keep them up all night to shop at Sharper Image.

I feel like “dancing to The Killers is a very 29 year old thing to do” is probably much closer to the truth

“Go find someone to have a mediocre life with.”is the sentence I will use in all future breakups from now on.

Me! I was 100% expecting that to read that he was pushing her for more and that she wasn’t sold on it because of how her first pregnancy went.

Wow call me too invested in it or whatever but I actually fucking HATE Amber’s post. If you’re not going to commit to putting the prongs in your hair you don’t deserve to share a diptych with Ariel you HACK.

I heard he was a cheating cheater. Don’t know if its true or not but I believe it.

Oh Alan Tudyk: I met you as Wash, but loved you best as Hei Hei.

My cousin is taking their one-year-old in a few months. Why??? Such a waste of money in my opinion.

That doesn’t benefit anyone but nursing home owners who employ people who harm the elderly. That’s basically Trump giving the go-ahead to just abuse the elderly as much as someone wants.

This fucker...

President Lazy Boy is a draft dodger. All of his attacks are about his own shortcomings. You don’t need to be shrink to see that.

Ivanka following The Fat Jewish feels like a recycled Seinfeld plot.

That’s literally her whole business strategy. Makes sense. Birds of a feather

Frankly, I’m more offended that she follows the Fat Jewish and that he’s still a thing even after he was exposed for stealing content.

When some of the more scientifically-minded staffers tried to argue their case to Bianca Moebius-Clune, they just found themselves going around and around in circles and getting absolutely nowhere.

Listen: I am the biggest sex ed advocate I know (I literally founded a pro-choice group in one of the reddest, Bible-thumpingist parts of the country), but I don’t think it really requires advanced sex ed to realize green shit shouldn’t be oozing out of the tip of a dick.

I don’t get the fascination with fucking celebrities. It doesn’t make you special, they fuck everything that moves. Unlike STIs, talent (when they have it) isn’t transmittable. Wrap it up always, and if a man refuses then that should be a big enough red flag to not go anywhere near their smelly and crusty ass junk.…

“greenish discharge” ≠ herpes y’all

. . . despite a “greenish discharge” from his penis, the court papers say.