What you really meant to say was...invest in one of those mini washing machines all single guys have - febreeze.

What you really meant to say was...I’ll miss the restaurant themed fiction contest.

What you really meant to say was..."Worst orgy ever. Ever."

What you really meant to say was..."It's an homage..."

What you really meant to say was..."What's a nubian?"

What I really meant to say was..."It was -15 when I started my car this morning. Ten minutes is the minimum I let it idle because I can't stand this shit anymore..."

What Rudy really meant to say was..."Even though I'm not running, I can be as jingoistic, ignorant, intolerant and assholish as anyone else. Plus the Children's Crusade was top notch."

What you really meant to say was..."Florida State did everything it could to ignore, deny, and delay so that they could get their two years of playing time out of Winston. Which is all they probably were going to get anyway."

What you really meant to say was..."I have no idea how this world actually works anymore. This is depressing."

What you really meant to say was..."Where do I get one of those shirts?"

What you really meant to say was..."Darren Wilson surfaced long enough to provide the prosecutor and grand jury with an excuse not to indict him."

What you really meant to say was..."They both seem like douches."

What you really meant to say was..."No where in my original comment (the one you replied to) did I say the police should be sued. You can infer from my response I'm a huge dick."

What you really meant to say was..."The result of disobeying a school rule forbidding cellphone use should be a violent interaction with armed police officers. A mere detention doesn't drive the point home like a good body slam."

What you really meant to say was..."I'm not mad that Goodell tried to minimize/cover up a terrible act of violence. I'm mad the media isn't letting him get away with it."

What you really meant to say was..."I can't seem to stop defending a guy who literally almost killed his wife. Please help me."

What you really meant to say was..."I apparently do not realize that there are many crimes that are prosecuted regardless the victim's wishes."

What you really meant to say was..."I'm looking for a way to minimize this incident. How about if I start with a totally nonsensical statement that has really nothing to do with domestic violence in general or this situation in specific?"

What you really meant to say was..."I don't know the history of the word "redskin" nor the history of how it became the name for the Washington football team."

What you really meant to say was..."I'm going to string together a bunch of words and concepts in a vain attempt to appear smart, but it is really just word salad. Please disregard."