Best piece you’ve written in a while

“He must complete a series of tasks with increasing levels of physical exertion, and he must be determined to be symptom free after each task.”

USMNT has been abiding by that policy for about 20 years now.

Hat guy has been trying to catch a foul ball for years but safari can’t manage to get one.

Sure. You can email me at deadspinstaph@gmail.com which I literally just created so that you could email me.

We will never regret accurately reporting sports news.

Kate loves quiche, which is something I discovered recently when she said, “I don’t know if you know this about me, but I love quiche.”

I’m fine with Bernie staying in the race to accumulate votes and show Democrats that there is broad, national support for a progressive agenda. I am not alright with him staying in the race in a desperate bid to win.

It actually took me a minute because I was pronouncing it correctly.

Brian Snitker, who managed the Triple-A Gwinnett Braves, will be the interim manager.

Pfft, that’s nothing, I've stuck people with far worse.

-Ray Lewis.

For people who rarely workout, one of the best things to learn from a trainer is technique. Lifting or performing exercises without technique will lead to injuries. Proper technique will lead to bigger gains down the road.

people without kids by their mid thirties (wtf grow up)

OKAY SO I texted my mom who is a doctor about this issue.

This is the thing. Kids are unpredictable as hell, and nobody other than an asshole is going to blame you if your kid freaks out, cries, gets impatient with sitting in the same place, etc. But if you let your kid kick seats, throw shit, touch other people, grab stuff, etc? You’re the asshole.

This. Most shitty kids on flights are the products of shitty parenting. I understand that no child is going to be a perfect angel for 5+ hours while cramped in a sardine can. Little tantrums and freak outs happen, especially with younger children. But your 4-7 year old kicking my seat and yelling for 5 hours is…

This is just like the USWNT/MNT pay dispute, except in that case the pre-determined losers get paid more.

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I feel so bad for this guy but I can't stop laughing.