I’ll accept this.

Ahem, Curt Schilling would like a word with you.

Slurred words: Check

Right. And next you’re gonna tell me that George Bush’s brother should run for president. #smh

Wait, seriously? Fascinating.

There are certain things in sports that I wish yielded an automatic one game suspension. Diving in soccer and fighting in hockey immediately spring to mind. I’d include intentionally hitting a batter in baseball but that can be too subjective. What else?

Yep, we were both super drunk. And I wouldn’t say it was “bound to happen” but we had been dancing around this flirtation for probably a couple months so it wasn’t surprising. And it actually wasn’t awkward afterwards. We both kind of laughed it off and sort of dated for about a month after.

Long story short: I got kicked out of the bar my company had reserved for it’s holiday party for having sex with a co-worker in the bathroom. I am not a smart person.

Wait. Where’s Burneko? Is he still here? He better fucking still be here.

What.

Cowboys fans are the worst.

4, 3, 1, 2, Rocky Balboa, 5.

Whoa whoa whoa, where are you getting that he’s had unprotected sex without disclosing his status?

Keep the nets but lose the fighting and we’re good.

Music is the only correct answer here.

I watched this for the first time a couple weeks ago. Yeah, give it a shot.

Real important question for the men: When you pee at the urinal, do you pull your balls full out of your underwear?

Counterpoint: Pedro would have won exactly zero games in Cy’s era.

You know what’s worse than auto-playing videos on the Internet? Auto-playing video ADS on the internet that don’t load until after you’ve already been on the page for about 5 seconds and you’ve already started reading the sports blog post on the sports blog post website.

Wait, I’m pumped for Chris Rock to be the host but do we hate NPH now?