I'd be curious to see what that guy would shoot at Augusta if he was literally allowed to place the ball at a distance of 50 feet of every hole for his first shot. Still gotta be way over 100, right?

Real question: Why can't the GM send texts to coaches during the game?

If you can't lift the weight without gloves, you can't lift the weight.

Tom Brady wouldn't even come close to six seconds.

I was on a plane with Sean Penn not too long ago. I can confirm he's an asshole.

I'm just gonna put this out there and say that sex doesn't always trump masturbation. There are times and places for both, man.

Nope. At least not by a rookie and a highly rated one at that. And, even more surprising, is that he doesn't have a long history of concussions so it's not like he's on the brink of being altered for life if he has one more concussion (presumably). This might not necessarily mean all that much, but is is…

To think that Jimi's version of All Along The Watchtower would never exist.

Even Belgian beers are better than stouts, and that's saying something.

Hmm, yeah, I probably could have worded that better.

I mean, yes, you should have a welcoming bed. That said, any girl I get as far as my bed is going to sleep with me whether it's made or not.*

In a lot of ways Amstel Light reminds me of another beer you covered recently, Medalla Light. The taste profile and color schemes are close enough. However, as you correctly point out, one of those beers is fucking awesome, and the other is Amstel Light.

To be fair, Interstellar wasn't really Oscar-worthy.

Fair enough. I just think there's often a difference between best and favorite. I like the new Beck album more than St. Vincent's. But I would argue that hers is technically better even if I don't like it as much.

Oh, for sure. That's kinda my point. I don't understand why we get all worked up because unless you're just completely deluded you're not going to think Beyonce's album is the best, right?

I like Morning Phase a lot and it just missed being in my personal top 10. But you really think it was the best album of the year?

Rarely is an album so obviously the best of the year that there's no controversy. Beck probably shouldn't have won best album (his didn't even make my personal top 10). But should Beyonce have won? Probably not. Sure, it's a matter of taste but neither of those albums are so phenomenal that it's an outrage one won…

"No way he's gonna pass."

Just curious, stylistically speaking, if Jenner comes out and says he is gender-neutral with no pronoun preference, how would you handle that in your writing?

I actually agree with you. But you're this close to sounding like an anti-vaxxer.