Because you said “Kelly,” I was thinking Kellyanne Conway (Conjob) and almost had one of those episodes where you’re kinda buzzed, but then you walk by a cop and the adrenaline kicks in. Just saying, you almost ruined my Chardonnay buzz. Almost. 😉

Good.

While I agree with this, Chris Kattan could use the work.

+1 for progress

He needs Steve Bannon now more than ever.

Yeah, I’m not really understanding the point of this. It seems like they want to crucify Schumer for not talking tough enough. If anything is viewed as a win moving forward, it is to see that Congress can move forward with some sense of sanity. Schumer should at least be given some credit for trying to unite voices on…

I think you mean Easel Escort.

Let he who has not run over a photographer file the first lawsuit.

I think you meant to say, “Justin Bieber ran over photographer ‘after church.’”

+50 eggs

Boo to that. Hope you took your big purse!

Good Lord. With or without popcorn?

Somebody in the office just sneezed. Thankfully, I am not permitted access to a handgun on company property (or own one for that matter), or else Sandy in payroll would’ve gotten her goddamned head blown off.

This is what I hate most. Being polite & courteous to your fellow human beings is just way too much for these folks to handle. Something something golden rule & all....

+1 repeating decimal

Totally not crying while stress-eating at Cici’s.

+$12 afternoon matinee

On one night in my early 20's, I proclaimed loudly to my friends at a bar that I didn’t want to live past 40.