She’s a former model, right? Marlboro Light 100's & Diet Coke. Breakfast of Champions!

Kind of like a 2-year-old that runs up to his mother to show her what he did on the potty.

Still don’t get cat-calling.

+1 Trebek reply in an overblown Quebecer accent.

Jesus, Maria! Are we not doing phrasing anymore?!

No way this post gets spliced to sister-network Deadspin. Everyone there knows that show Lil Wayne appeared on is called “Second Take.”

Oh, I know. It’s just the fact that we have learned nothing from history. Jocks in the 80's. Frosted tips in the 90's. We made it through the “Jersey Shore” apocalypse. Like, will men ever learn that acting like an asshole still makes you an asshole? What will make you stop acting like assholes? That’s the secret of…

“Due to the nature of women’s clubwear” is to often translated in bro-speak as “she’s showing off the goods - surely an uninvited grab is warranted!” *bleeeech* Who fucking does this? Seriously. Who. Fucking. Does. This?!

It makes me ponder, at what point in a boy’s life does the rule “keep your hands to yourself” just get completely defenestrated?

I think it’s because guys do this and do not get called out on it. I remember having a friend years ago who got slapped at a nightclub because he grabbed a girl’s ass. He was completely shocked. I was like, “well, you had it coming,” and he was like, “well, that’s the first time that ever happened.” The first time…

26 days to find out!

Just when I thought I was done throwing my guts up from this weekend...

300 pounds of shit in a 260-pound, poorly tailored suit?

“What are two things on my nightstand leftover from last night?”

+1 failed Turing Test

+1 paraphrased, 20-year-old Chris Rock joke

Read as, “pubic areas.” Still checks out.

Goose shit going up your eyes, your nose...your whatever?

“Sweating like sardines in a flophouse fraternity...

+1 Lynx browser