Holy fuck this is amazing...

This just in: Hugh Lofting, noted advocate of beastiality!

To wit:

So, you mistakenly added that one a-hole “libertarian” from your Intermediate Microeconomics study group from back in college?

I think this works better...

“A tube sock filled with oranges?”

TBF, Marina Sirtis still holds up.

Sharp cheddar. Perfect for grilled cheese or pea salad.

Missouri Synod or Wisconsin Synod? I’m guessing Wisconsin.

I heard that ended pretty poorly for the last guy...

+1 Powerthirst commercial script

Jackie Chan disbelief image macro

Needs more detail.

Correct, lest you become a Choking Victim.

So, you wouldn’t say their butter is a...Timebomb?

[Insert Xzibit meme here]

Don’t forget Janice in Accounting either.