I managed to escape, finally, after a lifetime of being neither blonde, thin, nor Christian enough. Sure, I’m just over the border in LA County, but as long as I am not in the home of Disneyland and megachurches, I’ll be fine.

I feel like I have met a thousand of her wannabe clones in Orange County, CA with those dead, church bitch eyes.

So not entirely dissimilar to stay at home moms in Sherman Oaks.

You have your birds confused sir, that is clearly a Mystic Librarian owl.

I started like five letters of thanks before finishing one that didn’t dissolve into cursing and tears.

Quick and watery. It’s making me nervous to fart, thinking there’s some anal seepage at play.

WHAT? They were like the original young It Couple (okay, late 90s original) and she got pregnant super young and then married right away, I remember it being discussed as really old-fashioned. Like, who gets married and has kids at 22?

Is it fucked up to hope that each and every one of them gets to experience that desiccated can of Cheez-wiz’s stubby-fingered grip on their labia?

Same here. Utter despair everywhere I looked.

I figured, based on the ages, that it was the other way around and the pusher was a bunny boiler.

Electric Daisy Carnival, 2008. I had to piss so fucking bad but the bathrooms might as well have been on the moon they were so far away and at the other end of a ridiculous line. I tried to tell my friends, but they were tripping balls, it was crowded with like eleventy billion people milling about, so in my…

He spoke a high school Theatre Fest a local community college was running, I was working at said Theatre Fest, and he was delightful! Very warm, engaging, said a lot of really nice, thoughtful things to these kids who were too young to remember Scream or SLC Punk and were being a kind of shitty audience. Good dude, I…

Starred for the Callisto gif. That woman made me question everything I thought I knew about my sexual orientation.

It has to be in The Apprentice footage.

Oh, don’t get me wrong, it is downright uncomfortable seeing the hosts fucking and being shot or stabbed, even if we all know that aren’t technically human. Especially as certain hosts are remembering atrocities past. And I think it’s supposed to be uncomfortable, I feel like discussions of consent and free will are…

Unless I have missed something, the one scene threatening sexual violence was implied and happened offscreen. Robot prostitutes have been walking around naked and having sex with guests, but those scenes have been relatively short, and without any violence.

And now she’s a rotting corpse. Suck a bag of half-thawed dicks, Phyllis, it’s God’s will.