the article is not trying to be funny

She is just so damn pretty!

That's fair. I have no idea what I'm doing.

Y U do dis? I'm trying to study for finals and Key & Peele is my kryptonite! Hours will be lost...

Isn't it interesting how the changes that paint Jackie are an opportunistic liar are announced from the rooftops, but when changes go in the opposite direction, they're quietly made without anyone admitting to doing so, much less explaining why? It's almost like these "unbiased" reporters have a vested interest in…

I was so much happier before I knew who Charles C. Johnson was

It is a weak, weak statement, but Hefner does get a couple points for not flat-out denying it could have occurred.

Lena Marquise, the artist, had inserted a battery pack into herself and attached a power cord to it, allowing observers to charge their iPhones

Lena Marquise, the artist, had inserted a battery pack into herself and attached a power cord to it, allowing observers to charge their iPhones as a commentary on how we've become dependent on technology.

I'm thankful for Rebecca Rose. Because at least she tried.

If you ever succeed, please send her the lock of my hair and all of my teeth that I have pulled that I've been trying to mail to her for ten years.

Yeah, but were you aware that Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson guest starred on the 30th episode of Hannibal? In which he was made to eat Jell-o Pudding Pops under duress? Coincidence?

I used to love those things when I was a teenager. I thought if I had bigger boobs no one would notice my disproportionately large butt... Oh, wisdom. Showed my boyfriend an old picture recently with my extra 2 cup sizes. His response, and I quote, "That's absurd. They don't even look real. You don't look real. I am…

I posted this yesterday, but I think TSwift fit in just fine at the show.

There's soooooo much going on in this Dirtbag; I'm a little overwhelmed.

oh, Taylor, you MINX!

We girls sometimes do the thing where we pick the same person over and over again

I should have known never to trust someone who tried to get me to clean my room.

Your disdain for your readership is apparent. The top-voted comment here is someone saying she understands that it's satire and doesn't find it funny. You don't need to explain it again to us.

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