Eh. That idealic opening is kinda necessary to really hit ya when the gunfights starts. That restaurant shootout wouldn’t pack the same punch if I hadn’t spent the past half hour watching Chow Yun-Fat act like a goofball and be the least threatening man in the world.

I absolutely do say “sym-bee-otic,” and so will you if you want to live under this roof.

In my likability ranking of Food Networks personalities, he is still miles ahead of Bobby Flay.

Sweetie, we listened to him, and then we called him a dumbshit. This is called the discourse.

TJ Millers nose dive is far more entertaining than anything else he’s been involved in. Someone as talentless, annoying, and overall terrible person as him, makes the schadenfreude all the more satisfying.

Whats the saying don’t throw the baby out with the bathwater. Most of these asshole are gonna be predators with or without alcohol

I send that to women because it’s easier emotionally to get them to dump me first.

Sounds like James Cameron was so preoccupied with whether or not he could include blue genital-haired aliens, he didn’t stop to think whether he should include blue genital-haired aliens.

calm, rational vegans

This is a pretty great “fuck you.” Someone is protesting your business? Do your business in front of them. I mean...what else do you do? They can’t say you did anything else than what you always do.

Q: What’s the difference between Rick Santorum and those two teens?

I don’t give a shit if she got work done. She looks amazing and works hard for that figure, I’m sure. Get it, Britney. Get. It.

LOL this is the hill you wanna die on? Woody Allen?

I would think petunias and ‘Oh, no. Not again.’

MARTIN SHKRELI, FOR YEARS YOU HAVE EXPLOITED THE SUFFERING OF OTHERS FOR YOUR OWN PROFIT, AND PUBLICLY TAUNTED THE WORLD WITH FULL KNOWLEDGE AND UNDERSTANDING OF YOUR EVIL. THAT’S WHY I HAVE SURGICALLY IMPLANTED YOUR DICK INTO YOUR OWN PANCREAS AND LOCKED YOU IN A ROOM WITH A GRAPEFRUIT SPOON AND A STAPLER. IF YOU…

There’s a Holocaust museum in Hiroshima. There is literally no excuse.

also i think norman reedus looks like a low rent Stephen Dorff who most definitely has stank mouth.

maybe if human men weren’t such awful lays it wouldn’t be an issue Bart

Guess what? A person with a mental disability isn’t absolved of any responsibility for their behavior.