Yeah, I mean it’s kind of a stretch to call those dudes patriots—but not to say WFB was a cheapskate who definitely gave shitty, heavily cut coke to friends. I mean that much is just black letter historical fact.

Hammerin’. Hank Kissinger wold have made a fucking awesome WWE wrestler.

They fired just one coach? I thought they’d go for two.

Awarded the Dennis Miller Honorary Doctorate for Arcane Commentary, 2016.

Yes! Good!

The last time the Patriot line was that overwhelmed by Broncos was the Battle of Waxhaws.

Dear Mr. Palmer,

Stating “Carson Palmer lost the game” implies they would have won, or probably would have won had he not played so poorly. This is not true. The Arizona Cardinals lost the damn game. Their whole performance was outmatched. Frankly, they just lost to a better team.

Very true. It was like the entire team was that person who comes to work hacking and spewing with all sorts of sick, yet insists on staying and infecting everybody else.

Upon learning that the adjective ‘Schaubish’ had again been rejected by the Oxford Dictionary in its annual new words list...

Hah. If these were really twins, Tomax there would have punched himself in the nuts and Xamot would have felt it.

I'm trying to come up with a Ryan Brothers joke for this, but all I can think of is toes, greasy long grey hair and awful football - now I'm nauseous.

“I’m a perpetual referee in their own personal Fight Club.”

If you’ve never had the pleasure of refereeing a kid’s club wrestling tournament you’re missing out! 500 screaming kids. Moms with Pedialyte by the gallon. Dads and coaches riding your ass.

Too bad it resulted in one less pair of identicals.

Two twins enter. One twin leaves.

I laughed pretty hard until I saw the puncher crying, now I almost feel bad for him.

I was really touched by the pain and grief on that child’s face right before he hits his brother in the balls.