Jack:

Sign for your package?

Ahhhh Nextdoor, the site dedicated to rants/debates about Dogs being offleash, people not picking up their dog’s shit, zombie RV’s, “does anybody know whose car this is parked on our street”, definitely coyote spottings, how to fight back against the homeless invaders, how the city/county/state government officials…

I think this is one of those times where it is okay to be offended, but maybe keep a check on the level of outrage. Otherwise you can start a chain reaction and eventually the whole thing explodes over social media, and you could be left dealing with the fallout for years. 

Have another.

The Incredible Machine

That’s a name that rings a bell that knocks over a bowling ball that makes a hamster run on a wheel that powers a conveyor belt that shoots a basketball into a hoop.

So are we just conceding that tackling is not a skill we require in kickers?

Roxanne! You don’t have to put on that red hat.

Fuck that shit. This shit ain’t funny, and he’s out here joking around like it is. Fuck you for defending him too.

Tell me more about baseball, guy who doesn’t watch baseball.

“Home runs and strike outs are up but degenerate gambling and statutory rape are down. I didn’t go to an Ivy League school because you know, I prefer high school girls but this can’t be a good thing.....right ?”  Pete Rose

I honest to God have no idea who you’re arguing with right now.

Every now and then Verlander gets a little bit closer to patching their relationship, but every now and then he falls apart too.

Cleave to sports!

What kind of moron would be such a hypocrite, right?

Red red whine

I mean, yeah- watching Harper’s massive dong was cathartic, but given the choice between watching that and spending a quiet evening by the fireplace running my fingers through his hair, well ... catharsis takes on many forms, my friend.

*several molars crack*

Nashville is the spiritual home of every suburban girl who claims to be “country at heart” because she owns cowboy boots and her parents are racist.

Yup,this M3 is up there with Paul Walker’s skyline in 2 Fast, 2 Furious in terms of unforgettable cars in recent pop culture.