whatmatters
whatmatters
whatmatters

I mean, I watched it, so clearly not. But I did vote for it on this list. And as the intro says, it’s rare that a movie on this poll gets as many votes as this one did!

Huh. I’d be more apt to criticize the government that’s trying to send a woman to prison for five years for dressing as she likes, but you do you I guess. If anything I hope more people offend their morals.

But I thought to myself, damn, she really is an incredible actor. She’s delivering those same talking points every night and making them sound new. That’s acting.

Good. Now the final three episodes will have plenty of room left for all the hardcore dragon fucking that we’re expecting. I’m talking dragon-on-dragon, dragon-on-castle, dragon-doggie-style, dragon-hound-style, dragon-mountain-style, three-ways, seven-ways, ice dragons, fire dragons, sand dragons, lemon-cake dragons;

So, Emma Stone is going to star in a movie about Pongo and Perditia humping?  

Marilyn did a terrific job of spinning it to her favor. When asked of she’d in fact had anything on for that photo shoot, she confidently said, “the radio.” Arguably the best fuck you answer ever.

Six foot four and full of gristle 

Yeah, it just sounds like Kim’s still trying to come up with excuses about why she’s such a terrible lay. She’s tied with Paris Hilton for most boring sex tape ever. 

Leaked image of final production version:

I thought “Halle Berry” was Helen Keller’s call for a last-ditch throw deep into the end zone?

Well, did he come or what? 

“I’m A Pussy, You’re A Terrible Hockey Player” is my favourite Death From Above 1979 album.

This is EXACTLY what I was thinking.

Cut to Drake, who seems, quite unfairly, to be highlighted as the villain here.

I’ve found that sleeping with an ex can often, for me at least, be the closure I need to fully move on. It’s a good reminder that maybe what I thought I missed so much, wasn’t really that wonderful (not just the sex, but the person) and then I don’t want it anymore. 

I want one of those fat old politicians to rub some marijuana salve on their sore joints/muscles and then look me in the eye and tell me it has no medical benefit, bunch of lying ass pieces of shit.

I look forward to seeing Biles kneeling after winning gold at the next Olympics, and everyone losing their minds about it.

What a disaster.

My name is LAAAAAME DUCK!