anyone who calls herself “mama” to anyone other than their own children is a sexed up pervert.

I say the same thing to myself late November every year when i am pulling boxes of decor out of storage.

This guy looks like he goes tanning and keeps his eyes open then washes that down with cocaine.

My spouse absolutely LOVES it when i meet someone named Jen, Jennifer, Jenny and at some point let out a JENNNNNAYYYYYYYY

People knew. Had to, anyone who has ever spent time outside with other human beings would pick up at the least that that accent is a fraud. Where’s your family at? oh they’re dead, no pictures in your house? ok, shitty relationship, not even a cousin you got along with?

Because she’s a sociopath who knew exactly what the fuck she was doing and did it anyway and didn’t feel any remorse until the charade was up and she had to come out ahead of that to try to control the narrative... like a sociopath

for the first 30 years or so they had a gigantic coffin freezer which it sat in.

We heaved ours about 4 months after our wedding to make room for vodka and frozen fruit and never looked back.

That’s all I can see too, half that lawn will be dead before winter. 

do adults from the community pay money to charity to go and watch the boys football team work out?

“he called me Francis. Hasta Luego Placido Domingo!”

if you’re willing to spend 25k and risk your health to see the chainsmokers no amount of scolding is going to help you out. You are a lost soul. 

Great advice. 

Can we please turn this motherfucker’s microphone off.

got a journey as a rental once and every single minute of that 3 days spent in the car was bad for my blood pressure. 

and to follow up- of course she’s now tested positive for corona virus.

is it a surprise that this chinless fuck and his hag don’t believe in wearing masks? 

all summer long by kid rock was playing in my head from the second i saw the headline to the second i finished the article.

“Coastal elites like AOC” lol what? 

going to Pizza Hut was like a special treat when I was a kid, there was a lineup! a pizza buffet or you could order a la carte, salad bar, pitchers of soda and a sundae bar at the one near me.