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a few years ago I mocked up what I thought would be the perfect Tebow logo and on-field cleat.

“But Coach,” I said. “There are only one set of footprints leading downfield.”

I walked right into that senior manager’s office, grabbed him by the neck, and performed 1,000 kettle bell swings with his body. I got the job on the spot.

ESPN takes can’t melt steel beams

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what on earth are you on about? how did you come away with I use my car to stop speeders? I am not condoning brake checking, and I’ve personally never been in a car accident in 16 years of driving.

Speed does kill its a PROVEN facts, as does misjudging the conditions. These may not be the TOP reasons for crashes but there in the Top 3, driving slow is never listed as a cause. NASCAR is not the Autobahn’s for one its a racing environment not a public road. Doing 200 on a oval is not the same as 200 on a road.

Life when so much simpler when you could just drain your blood from yourself, separate the red blood cells with a centrifuge, have your team carry it around in a cooler on dry ice while hiding it from officials, and then give yourself a transfusion of your own blood before a race.

i’m so tired of being told that for the sake of feminism i must accept a pro-war candidate.

What joke. Since the jets are now so stupefyingly expensive, there’s only one way to cut costs—ditch the on-board pilot. No life support, no carbon-based lifeform restrictions on the gees the aircraft can pull—it’d be simpler and deadlier. It’s the only real option.

The amount of money we spend on this bullshit makes me sick.

A woman who has someone set up her own email server to control what correspondences would be made available after her time at State (I don’t consider for a minute that the server represents a security hole in the way everyone else has attacked her for it; it’s indicative of her terrible character and her thoughts

Yeah, that customer did everybody working there a huge favor.

i’d outright defy stupid policies every where i’ve worked. seemed to work out ok for me in the end; especially if a customer was just as irate about the policies as i was.

I began ignoring the straw policy after that, and the manager dutifully ignored my ignoring of said policy.

“I suck now.” —Kobe Bryant, November 1, 2015

I’m saying treating classroom discipline of 14 year olds as a criminal matter is so insanely, bizarrely, mind numbingly dumb that I’m surprised you figured out how to tie your shoes this morning let alone be able to leave a comment.

“But what I do have are a very hot set of takes, takes I have acquired over a very long career. Takes that make me a nightmare for people like you. If you apologize now, that’ll be the end of it. I will not look for you, I will not pursue you. But if you don’t, I will look for you, I will find you, and I will threaten