Love SNS? Ever wish it was available 24/7? A long long time ago, jezebel (and all the gawker blogs) had an openthread that was always available for just general chatting. This was back in the days when the comments were actually moderated. It was just a scrolling page of comments, nothing fancy. Jezebel’s was called Gr…

Fuck.

apology shmapology, I just... this is my field and I’m a pedant lol

Shitcanned as a euphemism for getting drunk might be actually be hyper-regionally specific, limited strictly to my mother’s house. 

I legitimately read that headline to mean that these moms were going to be starring in a porn that their children would then watch. While still horrifying, the truth is far, far less appalling. 

I was inspired by Juanita. There are many women out there struggling to raise a family with no time to themselves. They need a voice. 

But her loin fruit did get a lesson from these universities.  Life isn't fair.

Thank you. And also, there are 10,000 other universities in this country where you can get a just as good (if not better) education. Saying your precious loin spawn was “denied access to college” because he didn’t get to go to that college is fucking stupid.

“I’m now outraged and hurt because I feel that my son, my only child, was denied access to a college not because he failed to work and study hard enough but because wealthy individuals felt that it was ok to lie, cheat, steal and bribe their children’s way into a good college.”

Yeah, and I bet Joshua would have gotten the role of Aunt Becky too if it hadn’t been for Mrs. Loughlin. So rude.

You don’t want your new girlfriend knowing about the old one!

PSA for fellow serial killers: before storing your body-part trophies in one of these fridges, remember to deauthorize the app. Just imagine the embarrassment!

I’m not saying you’re stupid or have insecurities, but I find most people who feel that way were insecure about being winners of stupid prizes.

Zoos can only do so much to keep idiots away from the animals. Even the most advanced zoos can’t keep out very determined morons. You have to balance access to the animals (so people can see them which is why they are there) and people’s safety, but some people... they’ll climb over all the barriers, jump over all the…

Wilkerson and his mother were bystanders who stepped in to save the woman who jumped the barrier. 

Team Jaguar

Those barriers are there for good reason assholes! It’s dumb enough to cross the barrier, but crossing the barrier and then turning your back on the animal (which further triggers a predator’s instincts) is colossally stupid. People who flout basic common sense to get better selfies deserve to be mauled.

What’s that old saying again? “Play stupid games, get stupid prizes.”

They were married the first time they had sex. I assume the divorce came afterward.

I would watch your show.