Yeah he is for sure doing some of that. We can get him to take a pacifier sometimes, but he has a hard time keeping it in his mouth. Pediatrician already gave us a hard time about using the pacifier and possibly missing/ignoring hunger cues. I was like...lady, I have a busted nipple and a ravenous beast to deal with…

Hey Jezzies! I have an auntie win to share! (I’m the one raising my nephew).

My nephew was picked as student of the month in his class for how much he’s improved in reading! He’s in first grade. He came to me in August barely reading more than his name and simple things like “cat”*, so it’s been one of our big…

That’s why you get engaged on the first date and break it off on the third. 

I can’t even find one dude I want a second date with.

Aw, never mind, one day the right one will come along and you never know, he could be a millionaire, or even the Duke of Provence, because his forthcoming marriage won’t last that long.

Listen, getting engaged 20 times is what happens when you’re a “prostitution whore,” so it looks like you’re just gonna have to reevaluate your lifestyle a bit. ;)

Same! I marvel at people who catch relationships so easily. Not in an enviable way really, more in the sense of it being a way of life I can't relate to.

I have found shoes at Marshall’s that had no business being there and that is why I love Marshall’s. I check Marshall’s now the way my dog always checks the back left corner of our backyard fence: once there was a possum there, any day there might be another.

Shopping at Marshall’s and TJ Maxx gives me so much anxiety. I can’t comb the racks for deals like other people. It’s too overwhelming. The only thing I will go to an actual TJ Maxx store for is cat mugs. They have the best selection of cat mugs.

I love that you used the word cooter. Underutilized in my opinion! One of my favs. 

Look mate, I agree with you. This is a shitty, schlocky cliche collection. I hated the whole movie and everyone in it. Nobody said it was a mystery. Clearly, you are not as susceptible to emotional manipulation as me. So either, well done on your rock hard cynicism (mine is marshmallowy at best), or you are also a…

Christ almighty, Jezebel. Why are you so bad at this?

What the actual fuck with the embedded tweet?!

You need to embed the tweet yourself into this comment if you want more stars.

It seems irresponsible (one might even say hypocritical?) to embed his lurid, flippant and exploitative tweets in the article.

How Not To Write An Article About How Not To Talk About A Tape Depicting Child Sexual Abuse (with special attention to Not Embedding Images Of Transcripts Of Said Tape)

Could you not?

Rough week, wanted to share my experience of something that happened that really frustrated me. Spending the evening cuddling with my pup to forget about it.

Um, I think it’s amazing that Miley Cyrus is able to look past Liam Hemsworth’s conventional ugliness and fall in love with his beautiful soul. On a spiritual, post-gender level.