I’m saying I don’t like shiplap. At all. It would be a deal breaker for me. My boyfriend recently moved in and I thought it was important for him to have his own space with that felt distinctly like him. Until he told me he was looking into putting up a faux shiplap wall and staining it dark. He lost a lot of design…

Fixer Upper is a show on HGTV and its like House Hunters but way way way more smug.

You use it as your backdoor brag conversation piece. You store the kitchen aid mixer, whatever the hipster coffee set up is now, espresso cups, all your le creuset stuff, your vitamix but you have to act really embarassed about it. “Oh, I wasn’t expecting you to come in the kitchen on the house tour. I’m so…

She uses the same three couches, those two tufted grey armless uncomfortable looking hairs, that brown club chair. Once you notice it it becomes a wheres waldo game that is addictive. I guess my thing is that she goes too rustic which gets busy. I’d say that I’m a clean and cold classic yet luxury with hints of…

Nope. They don’t get to keep the stuff. If its attached to the house it stays, if it isn’t, it goes with her. Her response to is the house staged or is it all theirs is the best “hey whats that over there!” She basically says that the house is staged because it is tv after all but homeowners are welcome to purchase…

I have some real feelings on Joanna Gaines. She makes hard design choices that only look good with her overly decorated style. And every house looks the same which makes sense because you get work off previous work but it all looks literally the same. Theres no client personal touches. You know what looks like you’re…

Hey- The secret service doesn’t have enough to worry about. Of course they should move to a struggling neighborhood to keep them on their toes. Duh!

Are you using an abrasive? Oddly enough, I have the same toilet as C.Stds up there and its two years old and still shiny af. The toilet in the bathroom down the hall from me is from 86 according to the toilet lid and its still shiny and white. Nothing scrubby and nothing but water and dish soap is the rule when it…

Very important question: was it Vineyard Vines (whale) or was it Southern Tide (skipjack tuna) because vineyard is making a moderate killing with the panhellenic generally outside of the south, if its SEC n panhellenic its alll day errrrrr day southern tide. And the owner shot someone at his “castle” its very specific…

Look, we can’t hate on Monica Potter. Her as Christina Braverman got me through my own mother’s breast cancer. Because I could pretend that my mom was Christiana Braverman and not the “root against that terrible person” mother that I was getting through breast cancer

That information tells me I should ask you if you’ve tried the panache tshirt bra? Its the oprah bra of my boobs.

Nah. Once you hit boomtown titties, you can either decide if you wanna buy conventional brands in the $36 range that can best be described as boob hats or you can suck it up and shop sales or buy full price for special occasions that actually fit and they go further into the alphabet. Like you can continue to say I’m…

I’ll see your praise of Food Wall and raise you that my place is called Oriental House. Yeah, really. They sell chinese/japenese fusion cuisine, they’re closed on Sundays, and their entire staff is clean cut white teens that I assume they recruit from the youth group at church on Sundays instead of being open.

Is that Jesse Metcalf? Just the other day I wondered what he was up to! Looks like the answer is he’s up into men’s butts on film. Not surprised.

When I watched it I was thinking is this dude trying to apologize to me for fuck me? Damn, if thats his repayment plan, thats gonna put a lot of miles on his tires. For some reason the pretty lady filter makes it seem more likely he’s trying to bone his way out of debt.

I stopped with Alton. My Ina Garten bit got too sad

You guys are all wrong. Do you see how much flannel she’s been wearing lately? The Kardashians are really devolving from aspiring euro trash to hefty bags leaking mysterious substances trash.

Try and follow this beautiful mind style reply. In my mind Rita Ora and Iggy Azelea were the same person when it came to their appearance. But I thought Rita Ora was Azalia Banks appearance wise. I’m glad throwing rotten fruit at people who suck has gone out of favor because I’d for sure throw some gross tomatoes at…

Can you imagine Alton Brown at one of these parties? Him with a tiny dessert plate of double double dank ass weed to cause some trouble chocolate chip cookies watching everyone with a skeptical eye until he sees someone try to use saffron oil as a lube and he drops the purposefully mismatched china plate to the ground…

STOP! NO! To the google machine!