The guy who missed the onside kick; his mother wished he was never born.

"We shall come over."

Wilfork was disappointed to discover that there was no apple filling inside of the turnover

I wear no jewelry, not even a watch because I'm 27 and thus have my phone on me at all times. You guys know phones have a clock function, right? I am okay with this post.

Every week becomes more embarrassing as a Bears fan. It's only going to get worse when we announce John Fox as our head coach.

Good thing security came on the floor, otherwise, those two would have engaged in some aggressive posturing.

I talked to some Broncos players who said Manning was throwing more picks in practice in the past six weeks than at any other time.

So what's left for him?

As a Knicks and Mets fan, I'm ready for plastic bags.

Its like getting robbed by a unicorn. A unicorn that sucks at basketball.

If Mozgov is the missing piece to an NBA championship, it may be time to disband the league.

Next on the queue: Two missed holds on the Romo-to-Williams TD by Tyron Smith and Ronald Leary.

In a related suit, the NFL has been charged with disseminating images of the Jets sucking, and fucking themselves all year.

Carry Sanders

Good news is that the UPD and Tallahassee PD are investigating, so the criminals will be brought swiftly to justice.

If those guys were residents of Cobb County, the Braves would move elsewhere.

You just prop up those photos on the Bears sideline and they win two more games this year.

Who foots the moving bill?

Three years without a test? What do they think those swabs are, FSU football players?

However, DNA testing on a toothpick left at the scene is incomplete.