What a fucking idiot.

Unless there is a lot more than meets the eye, he first got robbed when they charged him for a “suite.”

His oath—like the President’s — is to preserve and protect the Constitution of the United States, not to take orders blindly from an upjumped game show host.

I heard this band at a taco festival last week. Piñata Protest. It was pretty rad.

As a Mexican, I honestly don’t care when people wear Sombreros and Ponchos during Cinco de Mayo. This is an Americanized Holiday anyways like St Patricks Day. During St. Patricks Day people perpetuate Irish stereotypes and have no idea what the Holiday is about and it’s the same thing with Cinco de Mayo. None of my…

Now this is my kind of lifehack!

You’re a monster. Or a 6 year old. But I repeat myself.

Are we just going to ignore that Mrs. Butterworth’s bottle? Big pancakes/small pancakes... who gives a fuck, but they better have some real goddamn maple syrup, or we’re going to have a fuckin’ problem!

Dao’s attorney: “We’re not just doing this for money...”
Dao: “We’re not?”
Attorney: “We’re doing this for a shitload of money!”

I kinda disagree with that sentiment.

Joanna, you didn’t include the most relevant tweet

Merrill makes shoes in various widths, and their wide fits me (10.5 4e) just fine. Keen shoes have hilariously open toe-boxes, which may also work. Both are usually findable at your local REI.

Honestly while it was fun to begin with I can’t help but just see Trump as a sad little man now. It’s genuinely just fucking pitiful how he can’t take any criticism or jokes at all.

I thought St. Patrick was the original founder of Guinness, which is why everyone loved him. 

Nope. Grew up Irish Catholic. There’s no way that is an Irish anything. We don’t forget the things that make us sad. We stew over that shit until our birthday and end up in a fistfight in the yard with Dad.

It was terrible/great because you could see how little Abe cared. Trump tried to be like “I’M MORE MAN THAN YOU” and Abe was like “lol k. if this makes you feel important bro I guess I’ll just wait until you’re done”.

I bet Trump has been doing this handshake his entire adult life. It was probably a life lesson from his father Fred Trump or his other father Roy Cohn about “winning the handshake,” or having a powerful “first move.” He probably grips as hard as he can then he yanks the other party toward himself so that other…

How disgusting is it that the President of the United States is trying to pull off this long discredited Dale Carnegie bullshit on other actual world leaders?