He’s raising all his children to become sports writers so they’ll each get a vote.

Which finger?

I haven’t seen such a lackadasical approach to rim protection since senior prom.

Derrick Rose, eat your heart out!

Yawl seem a bit tender. I might be mizzen the point, but while this piece is chockablock with puns, some are a reach.

Maybe it was the other kid’s turn to get a few snaps?

Agreed and the worst part is that trite advice like “have fun out there” is complete bullshit in a sport where the only purpose is to turn yourself inside-out with exertion.

Batting was always easy for me but boy did I dread taking my position at third base when one of those accelerated-development freaks walked up to the plate. Baseball’s stately pace grants way too much time for considering facial or genital trauma.

Pretty sure this story is precisely the meaning of “Buffalo buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo buffalo.”

A-number-plus-one

On my iPhone, Do Not Disturb doesn’t ignore incoming texts (or calls or emails or...), it just doesn’t chime or vibrate for notifications. If you’re using the device (as Phil seems to have been), you see the notification. And you’d see it anyway the next time you go to your unlock screen (i.e. before sending his…

Now, that’s interesting.

Huh. Well, the more you know, I guess.

Join us again next week for the next episode of Jaguars Junction!

So you’re saying it’s a split decision?

If they drop Klinsmann and hire Arena, what should he do to turn this team around? At some point, in order to win games against top-tier competition, you need a dynamic goal scorer. Is that player on the roster, and if not is there a youngster waiting for the call-up?

Maybe there’s just no center-mid who’s outplayed him for a starting role?

Maybe they should get a wing with the height of a center and a sweet shooting touch, who can also dribble the ball in traffic?

When the Second American Civil War begins, please be sure to kill me first. I can’t stand to see liberal democracy die.

Next time MNF visits LA, do they have him head-butt a ram?