So, are they insinuating buying an Xbox One X is the same as being punched in the balls?

You know what helps with ratings? Requiring law degrees from all of your fans in order for them to understand why an exciting young player is or isn’t playing.

More like Deke Elliott, right?

The daily routine at this point.

Sports are so exciting!

Giving control of basically the entire DNC to one campaign is basically rigging it in favor of that campaign. Once Hillary controlled the money what reason would she have to give any of it to Bernie or O’Malley?

I feel really bad that this is not an Onion article, because it says a lot that enough of us are able to be duped so easily by a Photoshopped picture of a celebrity. Maybe there’s a lesson in all of this somewhere...

Wow, I feel really bad for those people that used the wrong hashtag when they voted on twitter.

Little Caesar’s wasn’t bad 20 years, but the race to the bottom has made their pizza inedible.

Hungry Howies, Jet’s, and Marco’s are all real, and are all significantly better than any of the places on the list.

This is such bullshit, doesn’t the government have better things for this bitch to do other than ruin my fantasy team?

Actually, this is a bad decision.

I think at this point it’s clear MacFarlane was warning us to train for the giant chickens that will soon come to fight us all.

According to a report of a relative who was in contact with a passenger on the doomed flight, the last thing he heard was a voice saying, “Let’s roll”.

“In other news, Southwest Flight 409 crashed into the Pacific Ocean just 30 minutes after takeoff, killing all on board. An unnamed air traffic controller who observed the event on radar has been quoted as saying, ‘it’s as if everything was going smoothly, then, for no apparent reason, the plane gained speed and…

As soon as everyone on the plane upgrades their seat for a small fee he stops playing.

Man, I don’t think I even want to hear bands I like play on a plane. I just want the NyQuil to kick in and knock the hell out.

I don’t think we’ve got enough here for another Oliver Stone movie.