Yeah, but he wasn't using it in that sense—he could have just said "I'm not an idiot."

Using the word 'retarded' is also offensive, Thom.

If you haven't already, grab those two volumes of Tom Kings The Vision. It's fantastic.

I feel we should rastify this MILF by 10%.

Now imagine that, but the Cryptkeeper is giving the tour.

Why can't we cross this with the last newswire and have MTV Crypts?

Turns out 'twas the woodpeckers who were not as they seemed.

You'll be sad when a Newswire pops up tomorrow detailing how David Coverdale now thinks Planned Parenthood sells baby parts to jewish college professors to turn students trans.

Why isn't it Daddy Dio!, huh? Because of feminism run amok, that's why.

His famous catchphrase is "Flame On!" To which Sam Guthrie responds "It's Clobberball Time!"

Vlad…The Imploder?

Dear National Park Service, there are too many rocks in the grand canyon. Please allow me to remove 60 of them.
P.S. I am not a crackpot.

Hawt.

If I poisoned western democracy, I'd use polonium-210. But due to its half-life, it's hard to say.

"Check out Fresh Nugs, wheezin' the juice…"
—Link (Brendan Fraser), Encino Man

I use mine all the time. It was just some stupid, not thought out, toss away line.

His financial ties (or emoluments) made him a more corrupt (and corruptible) president than Nixon before he was even sworn into office.

No, no, no—in the header image, he's wearing a backpack in a non-hiking context. You're not allowed to do that when you're older than college age. So clearly he's not that old.

1 shit emoji = 1 prayer

[angry face]