And there's that little 6 billion dollar boost they were complicit in handing him in the form of free advertising for his campaign.

The Overton Window isn't going to shift itself.

Didn't we already do this?

Leia's in the sky, but not Alderaan.

"Segues out with a little live jizz after Han shoots first." C'mon guys, grow up.

My favorite game? One of paper equals four of coin.

Wow Bob wow!

I always interpreted the Blue Rose hidden message thing from Fire Walk as both sort of poking fun at fans for expecting a direct one-to-one symbolism/meaning, as well as an invitation to read the series as rife with hidden signifiers.

Yes, but he learns each and every hair on his wigs by heart.

Rand Paul grows increasingly impatient for new episodes of Ancient Alien's Secret Gold.

You fool! We who refresh the Newswire section get first crack at commenting; now the hoi polloi will beat us to the Simpsons quotes.

*Eats flowers in bathroom*

Look, improv classes are expensive and time consuming, and no one told them there'd be a test.

Yeah, but I really miss Let The Mystery Be. Also, I just stumbled on this article about how every episode this season has a different song.
http://www.vulture.com/2017…

Is that Time Warped thing worth watching?

There are some solid burns in this piece. Great Job, Purdom!

Literacy suffers yet another blow.

With your generous financial support, you can read about that and so much more in my memoir! $1000 gets you a signed copy!

Well, it looks like I'll be emailing that Yahoo account to share my unbelievable tale: I'm Grand Duchess Anastasia Nikolaevna of Russia. I survived Lenin's goons, and stealthily took down the USSR from abroad. I just need a small seed loan to publish my memoir…

There were child labor laws in 1901? I didn't know we've been a coddled nanny state for so long.