Donkey Kong, Jr.: It’s like a recurring nightmare I can’t wake up from. Every night I see myself swinging, swinging, swinging.. it never ends.

Former Pfc. Lance Bean: How do you think I feel! I watched Bill die 30 times over! Seventeen of those times he was shot while climbing a vine and completely defenseless. …

If there’s anyone in the world who has more practical knowledge about destroying the Taj Majal, I can’t think of who it could be.

Hmmm I don’t know about your premise here. I doubt that elite, international-calibre soccer superstars on the richest club in the league would consider racing around in a circle on all fours, while tiny Spaniards sit on their backs and hit them with sticks, as constituting an avoidance of humiliation.

Hah I said “most” and I didn’t include myself.

+1. Also yay! I came back and it seemed like most of the good people were gone.

Man-at-rest Destiny.

A pacer I bet on once turned maverick on his driver. By the time the race was over he’d trotted back to the paddock, tripped over the gate and broken his leg. They ended up having to shoot him. My point is, I don’t know about decades, but it certainly set me back a couple hundred bucks.

Uh oh. The last time a Green got competitive in Germany, Harms came to the European Free Alliance.

SHOCKING NEW EVIDENCE SUGGESTS HILLARY CLINTON, IN CONJUNCTION WITH THE JEWISH MAFIA AND THE NEW YORK TIMES, WAS RESPONSIBLE FOR THE EXTINCTION OF THE DINOSAURS

And thus we have the only known instance of Doug Gottlieb’s life experience overlapping with that of John Holmes’ final years. Well, that and all of the murders they were both accused of and the really, really large penises.

You can find videos of them online.

Oh. Also Antonio Bastardo.

I think it would be more fun to talk about really dumb pitcher names but apparently the little ones might overhear us.

Yeah but Maddon’s Polish Catholic so all it cost Schwarber was 10 Hail Marys and cellphone video of teammate Joe Smith’s pitching motion as seen through a screen door.

He can’t behave
When he’s talking about her royal highness
Then I watch how he plays
With her hair while he compliments her figure

I see smart family planning.

A second career in the NFL and a non-documented history of beating his wife?

That’s ironic, as the Bus 2 Projects is what the Rio city government calls the public transit route the 8 year old living in Bekele’s former Olympic Village bedroom takes home from the Nike factory every night.

I want to hang out with Marshawn Lynch.

Jason Coy: [Goes 20 yards downfield in the air before getting killed]
Paul DePodesta: Gather ‘round boys. Cody, Josh, Robert, I don’t think it’s working out. We’re going to make a change. This doesn’t mean we don’t still love you.