Ugh go back to Gawker before I explain it to you, poser.

The primary reason I entered coaching was to affect people in a positive way.

Real zambonis work by shaving excess snow with a razor-sharp edge, collecting the shavings, and spraying high-pressure water to loosen debris

Shit did Gawker crosspost this too? People are really extra stupid today.

OH MY GOD YOU'RE DUMB

This is so untrue. You don't "become" HIV positive. Jesus gives you that shit. Don't fuck with that guy, he's like a supergay needle user with an axe to grind. Magic Johnson worships the devil. That's what kicked off the whole AIDS epidemic. Come on, dude. Learn yourself some history.

Wow, you managed to write the dumbest possible response to the two best jokes on this post. You are like an idiot savant of misunderstanding humour. I salute you.

Basically, it'll be a crapshoot.

How could I relinquish my vote knowing how much it annoys you?

The really dumb Gawker crosspost replies from all of the great jokes on this post have been dismissed. It blows. There was some really funny shit in those.

Aw I'm sad that response was dismissed.

Ugh, Gawker cross-posting should be illegal.

think long and hard before sending pictures of your penis to women

Dear writer, you know how the TMZ story spelled it "Dwyane" Wade and you assumed it was a typo and corrected it? Yeah, it wasn't.

And they made him move across the street!

This makes sense. Summer Steele (born 1994) has parents who were both huge USC fans.

Hah I get where you're going but what is a liver in punctuation?

I can assure you this statement is inaccurate.

Hey listen, I'm in Stockholm right now for Christmas with the wife's family, but I'm home this weekend. I spent 3 years working in strip clubs as a DJ, so I have a pretty eclectic mix of club bangers, sexy filler, and personal faves for breaking the monotony on slow nights. DM me on twitter, @queenbathurst1 and when…

Strand 1: Okay boys, this afternoon's sing-a-long Christmas medley was the last straw. He can take our split ends, but he can never take OUR FREEEEEEEDOOOOOM!!!