Took me over 4 hours to comb out my hair after the wedding. No lie. That's how Texas it was. I had been growing it out for a few years and had to get it all cut off the next week because it was so trashed from the teasing. But it was TOTALLY worth it.

My mother bought a cream-colored meringue with beaded appliques about four weeks after I turned 18.

My mother is a horror show but I invited her dress shopping because she was in town for the weekend and I figured it was just a day…what could go wrong. Anyway, it wasn't too bad until we got to a dress she loved and I was "meh." Then they brought out another dress and it was "THE ONE". I loved it. It loved me.…

I was the worst/best bride ever. I ordered my supremely boring dress from the $99 David's bridal Sale, had it shipped to my office, tried it on in the accessible stall at work, modeled it (complete with black trouser socks and a shitty ponytail) to a handful of co-workers who got more emotional than me, put it back in…

I'm sort of the same way (some places have gorgeous bridesmaid/evening gowns that are more fairly priced than The Wedding Gowns and are generally more my style/less poofy).

And for some reason I am imagining the scene like the famous scene in Psycho...

Oh god, I swear I had Coffee Latte's husband the other day. Never in my life have I felt the stupidity ratio in a room rise so rapidly as when this guy opened his mouth.

That kind of reminds me of the summer I was fifteen, when I wandered into the bathroom at the local teen center one hot afternoon. Three kids who I kind of knew were in there slopping pink Manic Panic all over their hair. One of the girls (I swear to god I remember it being two girls and one boy, though that doesn't…

Your mom sounds like she needs to learn some boundaries.

omg I'm sure that classes as some form of physical assault but good lord, it's a funny read.

You win. I'm watching Mr. Also try hard not to spew soda at the screen while reading this.

Wut.

Good god, what is with some of the crazy choices moms are making for their kids style-wise?? This whole comment thread is filled with bad parental decisions!

what?! that's terrible!

You win.

I have stick straight hair and wore it long with bangs from age 3-13. In the late 80s/early 90s my mother thought it would be cute to perm just the bangs. I repeat: just the bangs. She did this to me and my younger sister not once but twice and still defends the decision to this day. The pictures are too atrocious to…

Strike three means that make-outs come to a screeching halt and it's time to have a come-to-Jesus talk about his kissing style. Because frankly, if he's not listened when you've tried to guide him gently - twice - then it's time to give him a session with the Chair Leg of Truth and his feelings will have to look after…

In the immortal words of Dan Savage, "There is no 'One', there's just the person you can round up to one.".

So I can't recall anything like the above that I have done, but I do have one that happened to me. A few years ago during my residency, I had a patient who had been in an MVA. He wasn't seriously hurt, but needed some glass removed from his soft meats and some sutures. He was in his early-to-mid-twenties like I, and…

I'm of Italian descent. I had pit hair, pubes, and a light mustache by the time I was in 5th grade. It did not impress the girls as much as I thought it would. (to be clear I'm talking about the stache, not the pubes)