i read this as high school horror society

Hahaha, no. I love sadistically skipping the baby ones like rocks back into to water and watching the seagulls try to be sneaky about trying to nab our catch, and teaching kids how to safely "pet" a crab on it's back. and also i love crab cakes. And we use chicken which smells less-bad?

This is you, Madeleine. Bask in it.

The Met Ball is literally for really, really, really rich people.

I declare today Boner Tuesday on Jezebel.

I used to have a recurring zit in that location; I used to claim it was my unicorn horn trying to emerge.

"That's a nice scarf!" -coworker

I'm all about the distraction scarf for when I think I may not have blended my foundation into my jawline/neck correctly, or when my own parasitic twins crop up on my chest/collarbone.

YOU POST PICTURES, I COME.

I like this notion. I will have to remember to pop out the cleavage or wear a large hat, the next time I get a big ol' zit.

Just stick a jewel on the zit, and VOILA! People won't be staring at the zit anymore. They may think you're coo-coo for coco puffs, but nary a zit stare!

Oh man, I wish I had faith that distraction jewelry would work for me. I have a small planet growing on my face right now (I think it's starting to develop a gravitational field and everything) and no matter that I put concealer on it, it's still visible and is making me want to cry.

Love "distraction jewelry" — I could totally use some of that today. I am refusing to leave the house for any reason due to a parasitic twin in the exact location of yours which has left me with a giant red mess and two swollen eyes.

I love the phrase 'distraction jewelry', haha! I do this too, not because I think it'll actually work, but because wearing gold jingly things makes me feel fierce regardless of what unfortunate things are happening on my face. Obsessing over what other people think is a waste of time, but to constantly pretend we…

Wish they'd put some Jaegers in there, too.

A position from the Catma Sutra no doubt.

That is a fantastic pose.

Or are they really called Jaime and Cersei?

In the porn world, they call this scissoring. In the cat world, I call this adorable.

I kinda feel like you are always full of shit.