Now that's inspired.

I had an ex who asked me to design a tat for him. I told him that was too much commitment.

Serial Killer Barbie was also a very normal thing in my home.

My Jewel Secrets Whitney was a classy lady. She would only sleep with Ken after he had promised to get a divorce.

We did finally get one and he ended up spray painted gold in a diorama of the Statue of Zeus in a Seven Wonders of the World skit.

Ripped the legs and arms off to use as silverware for a buffet. The arms were forks and the legs were salad tossers.

My lint roller just died after reading that.

Oh I love that. Cataloons.

The sad thing is that that is just from one of the cats.

I think it feels like a massage to them. The Archduke really hates getting a f'ing massage and the Duchess will melt while grooming and purr until she falls off that table.

You have NO idea.

The Von FluffyPants duo in action. The Archduke goes apeshit and paranoid over the toy, the Duchess couldn't care less about it.

It's not natural for a gloss to last as long as that does. I'm wearing coral tatoo right now.

Milani Shadow Eyez

Aren't they trying to link toxiplasmosis with schizophrenia too?

This is the tackiest list of crap ever complied.

Sit down and slouch a little. Oh yeah, bit of a built in girdle. I'm kidding about the denim corset though, if your jeans have a built in shelf-bra... I want to see it. For science.

My ribs need to be hugged by my denim in order to feel properly dressed.

It is the ragdoll flop. These are currently what I can see on my bed. Toe tufts and utter relaxation.

Lots and lots of practice.
And naps to replenish his energy.