Just keep the Max Martini in a sharp suit pictures coming and nobody gets hurt.

What about that bloated feeling? The stomach can compress pretty far down and the idea of having a constantly inflated stomach.... that seems really uncomfortable.

God speed you unsung hero!

I'm genuinely horrified by this whole post.

Those weren't intentional.

My genes make my spawn an honorary member of The Sweathogs.

This is just a gut reaction, but think about the blockages that could occur if the balloon ruptured!

EARS. Let's talk about that runny gooey yellow earwax that dribbles out down their face even after we've already CLEANED them one day ago!

I make my kid use that liquid salt deodorant in his pits. Because I actually like his teachers.

I had a yoga class in a gym that held a middle school wresting camp before us. In July. Not the best A/C.

Mandatory showers for all 6th graders. I don't care that you don't think you smell. MANDATORY.

He's very limber... I think I like him shorn and covered in blood. I'm not sure what this says about me.

I'm a bit slow at times. This was... fascinating.

Army Surplus Green! Only the best for my sluttin out parties.

I think we have to bring a tarp and some Wesson oil to do it properly.

I feel that we understand each other on a very deep way.

Maybe because I have a deep need to watch all of Max Martini's body of work regardless of context or quality?

Writing Bigfoot erotica will make you a bad writer.

Interestingly, it's something that afflicts more women under the age of 28 and more men above. Why? I don't know.