My dad made me wait to watch "The Golden Child" with Eddie Murphy until I was 13.

I used to like you.

I have ass blindness.

After reading this thread he decided to put the "murder hammer" in the glove compartment.

My husband got an AARP mailer when he was in his twenties. I just smiled and told him, "They can see your grumpy old soul."

LUCKY.

A good accent can keep you warm on a cold night....

I mentioned it to my husband who got a bit miffed until I clarified, "He left me unfulfilled in the aisle at an alien supermarket! Damn Dr. Who always getting up and leaving to save the goddamned universe..."

Apparently my subconscious agrees with you as I got my obligatory erotic dream about Mr. Capaldi out of the way before the damn special even aired.

Iain Glen (age 52)

I just read him each one of these comments. He may yet see the light.

I don't really live in SK and all the comments make me never want to visit!

It was either the window hammer or the slushie drink cannon, and I only had so much wrapping paper.

SURPRISE!

Twas the scrunchie cock ring!

I can't see the word scrunchie without thinking about horrible Cosmopolitan sex advice.

I didn't have a coupon for one of those.

Put the ER kit in the handbag. Chic and safe!

That's a gift that says "I love you." and "Please don't die and decompose in my car." at the same time.