My embroidery is 90% thread and 10% saliva.

"Everyone wants MORE letters!"

I would have been Lancelot, had I been a boy. I suppose I could have shortened it, but imagine a ginger, bespectacled scrawny little boy named after the best Knight of the Round Table, living in redneck territory.

Mine would have been Lancelot.

Good old Nebby! Has a problem with that whole fiery furnace thing, but over all he's a good chap!

I should be so lucky.

I'm pretty sure my teeny tiny Athena was not Greek. It was just such a charming surprise to hear.

Venus would be a tough one to live up to... and that Bananarama song...

I went with a short Apostle name for my kid after letting my family know I was seriously considering something Biblical like Nebuchadnezzar or Bathsheba.

I'm named after a starlet who looked good in a sweater and had unfortunate taste in men.

A silent D is my curse. But I married into it. I understand your pain.

I see a disturbing lack of Frank on that list.

Any silent letters should be taken out back behind the woodshed and dealt with.

Any name with an extra silent "H". Seriously, think about the poor people you're going to have to spell that name to any time you have to make an appointment.

I met a teeny tiny Athena this week and suppressed the urge to ask if her parents were Greek myth or Battlestar Galactica fans.

Let me know when there are Iphone Spanx.

You do God's work, my child.

We Had Stars Once is also available on the Kindle for $0.95! Kindle

Dad gets two books: The Darwin Awards Volume One. Amazon Link

He's in there actually. I flipped through the issue. The only one missing from my short list was Max Martini though. AND THAT'S A CRIME.