This seems like an appropriate time to mention that his name is an anagram for EMBRACE MOTHER.

S.T.A.B. - Smile To make it All Better

Your secret is safe with us Eli

Where did you grow up? Because around these parts, we just called that a Number Two.

judging from that pic, he also misplaced his eyeballs during the move.

Hear me out: Five Centers.

No, I think you are confusing him with Freddie Adu.

Right up there with the “course pack”, a $50 collection of Xeroxed articles double-stapled into a booklet.

Griffey Sr.: Come over here and give me a hug before I give you a knuckle sandwich!