I was blessed (yes! really!) to live for 14 years under the same roof as my mother-in-law, who was a force of nature, and loved by all. She aged beautifully, mainly because she never considered herself to be "old" and therefore did not relate to others as "old." She was just herself — take it or leave it. Since her…

They do in my mind.

I had to read your first sentence five times before I realized that "schedukes" isn't some new slang for something.

Back in the mid-90's, they had weekend festivals, where you could pick the grapes AND stomp them, Lucy Ricardo style. It was SO much fun. Do it at any winery you can.

Do they say nu-cu-lar instead of nu-cle-ar? That one always gets me. It's like it's hardwired into their brains.

That's too bad, because about 90 minutes from Austin is a winery called Messina Hof. (To the best of my knowledge, they are NOT Aggies. Just sayin.')

It didn't strike me as offensive, either. I took it as an ill-elocuted rally to encourage anyone who isn't 1) white, 2) male, and 3) hetero to fight for each other, rather than in more disparate groups or identifications. Because if THAT glorious conglomeration happened, it would be a better-matched fight, with faster…

I can't believe you didn't put broccoli on this list, and tie it with pineapple.

Cynical, but you have a very valid point.

It's like you wrote this lead article to troll Adultosaur.

This is my baby dog.

Just don't spell your feelings wrong. The study also found that 54per cent of single women and 36per cent of men find misspellings and incorrect grammar to be the biggest text message turn-offs.

Mark, you'll just grow to be a better guinea pig daddy. They will LOVE being dressed up by you.

Oh god, I was hoping someone would link to this.

The rush of endorphins I got when I saw that I was reading a Shrayber Dirt Bag was really weird.

You're both the best thing(s) I like about Jez.

Missed opportunity:

How could you possibly be relegated back to the greys?

Not the dolls, but definitely the outfits. The Empress of the Aliens Barbie, Goddess of the Galaxy Barbie and Medusa Barbie all have the best shoes, too.

I don't think it's a matter of whether or not "colored" is derogatory; it's whether it's discriminatory, which it always was.