I confess, it was me, playing a trick. I pointed and said “Hey, Billy, look over there!” and when he turned I ducked around the corner and sent my dog to stand in my place. So really it wasn’t shapeshifting.

I think you mean Life Day.

The War of Christmas, begun has.

“Let’s build a tank...and put it on stilts!”

Yeah, before the War on Christmas everyone would put up AT-AT walkers in their front yard for like three months preceding Christmas.

If kids don’t run toilet paper around the legs this country is doomed.

Why not build the whole starfighter out of the tripwire material

Salty Ficus? I saw him play Brickman’s in the Catskills, back in ’67!

Are you really going out with that joke?

Is the sparkly glove briefly glimpsed waving from out the back of a windowless white van with “CANDY” scrawled on the side?

Don’t leave us hanging! How’s the ficus?

They’re not going to let animated Michael Jackson anywhere near the Rugrats or the Peanuts kids, are they?

“We got another donation from Kevin Smith. A check, plus a dozen oversized hockey jerseys, five pairs of calf-length board shorts, and ten ‘Clerks II’ baseball caps.”

You really live up to your screen name.

If people in the grays are going to continually shit on every single sentient organism within a 10,000 mile radius of the state of California, and lump every single one of them into same group as the fucking actual rapists, then I don’t even know what the fuck anyone is supposed to do.

Kevin Smith is not a great filmmaker, but he has always tried—with varying degrees of success—to feature women in really positive, and semi-progressive ways in his films. You should pretty much always be on their side in his movies. So, this feels really earned, at least.

His only weakness was glasses full of water (that the women speaking out against him would sip in-between talking about his sexual depravity).

M. Night Shymalan breaks out his laptop for another hit movie idea!

its depressing enough to have “ugh, dried ramen again?” said once in my studio apartment.

just say it in the mirror?