He was known to call his penis “Jerry” and named one mistress’s vagina “Mrs. Pouterson.”

Don’t you dare tell me that the “1993" in your username is the year you were born.

Junior will want a red flannel uniform. Eric will pin the stars on his Spiderman jammies.

He looks like he’d be an adequate spokesman in a tofu commercial.

Oh, he’ll task Jared with handling the whole operation, so...uhh...hmmm...yeah.

Yes!

Flynn is a criminal and a traitor. Now that we got that out of the way....

Sure, when you say it like that, they don’t sound so good....

Be happy for this. It’s Gaga, it’s Oreos. And 2020 is almost over.

You...uh...jumpin’ to some conclusions there, ain’tcha? Although this isn’t my dog...

Ah, one more thing for Trumpolini to scream “Hoax!” about on his way out. Great.

I have no idea what any of this means. Am I lost or am I saved?

There is only one noble order to aspire to:

No matter how many tabs you run every day and how mutltitasktastic you think you are, your boss will never forget the time you spilled coffee on him at The Big Presentation™.

Yeah, that picture is very disturbing. Nice pick, Alford.

sometimes

You get outta here, you :)

I love you so much right now.

and fuck this piece of shit, too

I’m aware of my own hypocrisy. I consume the pop culture I so smugly criticize daily, hourly. I pay them, directly or indirectly, and help lift them to their privileged positions while complaining how vapid they are. I’m consuming right now while I’m bitching about it. And it’s not like I’m going to stop. Hey, the…