One of my first jobs was a bagger. If anyone was awakened by me back then...well...hope they were able to get the appropriate therapy they required.

Cruz is angry that no blobfish made the shortlist.

“...Dan Cortez.”

It’s reaaaaally gonna suck when he’s POTUS.

Fraud is still a crime. That rich douche bags go screwed out of millions is just icing on the cake.

As a former retail drone: can confirm. Many a day, I looked forward to dunking my feet in a very warm Epsom salt soak. So nice.

Reese, Alford and Melero....hope you got your resumes updated.

I stopped in to a local food joint for lunch yesterday. I sat down to dig into a delish Italian beef sandwich when one of the employees turned on the TV behind me. It was tuned to Fox News. The crazy pouring out on a variety of subjects (including this one) was staggering. Obviously, Fox has always been bad but I…

Peanut butter mitigates the scratchiness...allegedly. 

Buy your dog antlers and some gourmet treats. Done and done.

Don’t let it get you down, good sir. The kitties know your loving heart. Keep doing all the great work for them in whatever capacity these crappy circumstances allow. You rock!

Well fuck...what are we supposed to talk about now?

So, you're telling us that celebrities may not be the best source for health care info. Gotcha.

Dear Peoplez magazine,

How many times has Gosar tugged on his wet toothpick to this cartoon of him murdering a woman who dares disagree with him? Fuckin’ psychopath, man.

Duh.

Anytime I see a Davidson lovelife story, I think “What do these women see in that guy?” Then I remember the women who dated me back in the day and the mystery dissipates.

She’s had an epiphany. Good for her. Now she can fuck off.

Manchin has always been a turd in the Dem punch bowl. He just currently has outsized power due to the circumstances. And boy howdy he is luvin’ it y’all!

Awesome news all the way around! While I haven’t been around alot lately, I have been reading your updates when I see them and I am so so so happy that things are going much better for you. That you have met someone in person who shows you how amazing you are and gives you something good to look forward to is what…