Whoever Biden picks is in for a major feces shower. That’s the one thing we can count on.

Duckworth rocks. Trump obviously would try to “birther” her because she was born in Thailand and her mother is Thai\Chinese. But in light of the Russian bounty payment scandal, going after a highly respected disabled veteran officer would be an even worse look for Generalissimo Bonespurs right now.

Obviously, Buscemi is the only choice as he understands the youths.

Melania is like “Seriously, Kris...if you want him, take him. My lawyers say the pre-nup is solid.”

Yeah, if this is what we’ve come to in our politics, I’m backing you Harron. Just promise a complete Jezebel staffed cabinet.

THIS is the correct take.

Vote Liquor Cabinet ‘20!

That donut....my gawd....it’s beautiful! I couldn’t be in the same room with that because I couldn’t limit myself to one.

That is awesome! Your mom is a warrior queen. May you and your family enjoy many more good years with her.

Aw. Darwin, hang in there, bud!

What’s the old saying? Free advice is only worth what you pay for it or something like that?

Unfortunately, we’re all being played once again. Trump and his goons have made this crisis the same ol’ us vs. them battle to deflect from their complete incompetence.

It was pizza and ice cream here :)

“a merciless campaign to wipe out our history”

Ya know...it would be nice to just ignore rightist jibber jabber because it seems to get crazier every day. But we need to stay informed, right? We have to know what they’re talking about, what agendas they’re pushing. They’re not going to magically disappear like Trump thinks COVID-19 is going to.

C’mon...credit where credit is due. They nixed the lobotomy cover as “a bit much.”

Maybe a giant bird will drop a giant shark on my head before then.

Finally. A new nightmare to add to the playlist.

While the idea of him flailing around in confused panic is pleasing, it comes with a large dose of fear over what his desperation is going to motivate him to do. He’s the 400 pound rabid rodent backed into a corner.

Anyone not wearing an apron at the grill is mocking the godz and ain’t nothin’ but a damn fool plain and simple.