i still getting over the fact that fishes don’t really talk.

I think it important to note that you left out the Freemasons /Harry’s Balls/ Arc Du Triophme Illuminati angle. I’m beginning to wonder if you did this on purpose...

Forget cotton. For a true Earth Mama granola pure vagina shedding they should be stuffing sphagnum moss into their twats.

DAVID FINCHER TURNED HIM GAY!

Probably because he identifies with the occupy movement and really resents being part of the 1%

The hottest new thing in Moniga del Garda is La Scaletta. It has everything. Waiters that whisper the specials breathlessly in your ear, pizza cubes, chairs made of shitty tippers, entitlement cocktails, lamps that look like upside-down boobs, ice with messages inside about everything you did wrong in your childhood,…

He’ll have gone through a lot of 32 year old hearts by that year though.

Every time I see his name I think:

If you get an accidental teddy bear vagina cake to enliven your christening, you have been given a GIFT! A gift! Write them a nice thank you note and chill.

I even named her Roo McClanahan (spelled it differently so people don’t get the two confused)

I say this again! My cat legit looks like Eartha Kitt!

Elvira eating Bugles on a funicular.

I relate. My father was always predicting doom whenever I did (or wanted to do) something. Something Awful would happen. Unlike your dad, then he would berate me for being stupid. But I did inherit some persistent anxiety. Pair that with a husband who thinks he is invincible and can get away with anything and you have…

my step dad stuck a cucumber down his trousers (trigger warning inappropriate gif in the article) after coming home from grocery shopping and apparently just waited to see if my mom and my sister would say anything (IT WAS A HUGE CUCUMBER) I am glad I wasn’t there and it was less weird and creepy than it sounds I…

i would have to guess because i dont see color

Not for nothing, but this site isn’t to empower women. Not really, and I say that as a longtime reader (since 2007, actually). If it was, there would be more people coming to the defense of Kim Kardashian and other “fame-hungry” women. There is not. Farrah Abraham nor Courtney Stodden wouldn’t be snarked as hard by…

Diana’s dress is so astoundingly horrible. It’s a shame that it has to be attached to her forever. And then Fergie comes in a few years later and tries to copy it!? This is not an 80s thing, it’s just a straight-up bad taste thing.